Monday, June 15, 2009

Purple Princess Phantasies (Part 2)

Devena in red, Diana in green and Jacelyn in blue...

screamed in pain as the nettles stung her bare skin and that only got her more attention from dirty old Mr Sharp-ear. He looked at her struggling with the weeds leeringly, and was about to....jump out of the window and land on her, when someone at the window pushed him out instead. He landed in a small pond next to the nettles and quickly sank to the bottom, as people with sharp ears naturally do not know how to swim… Fantaghiro breathed a sigh of relief, but dare not move, for every movement would make the nettles sting her even more. Just when all hope for getting out of the nettle bush seemed to be lost, who should appear at the window above but a vampire that looked strangely like a female version of Tarabas. The vamp tried to hypnotize Fantaghiro with her black beady eyes but Fantaghiro suddenly found the courage to pull herself out of the nettles. She knew that falling prey to the vamp’s stare and eventually becoming her rumour-mongering buddy is a worse fate than some scars. She streaked across the lawn as the vamp gave chase shouting ‘wait! I just want to advise you!’… when she was startled by a wet hand slowly caressing her face. It was sharp-ear all drenched. She realized that in her struggle to get out of the nettles, she fell asleep again and it was so weird that she continued to be fantaghiro even in this dream. There was something about those characters that totally intrigued her and it seems like her sub-conscious mind is not leaving her at ease. She snapped herself out of her dream rationalization when the 'roaming' wet hands.... began to slap her reallhard. Waking up, Fantaghiro saw a wet, gangly youth shouting at her angrily. It was then that she remembered that she was really Barney and was now being clobbered by one of her child co-actors on set. She fended off the attacks and… upon realizing that she was still naked, and have managed to capture quite a bit of unnecessary attention, she ran inside the house and wrapped a stray sheet around her body only to find the mystery man giving her a top-to-toe..... glance filled with envy because he wanted the sheet so badly. She passed by him quickly and made it into a long corridor, where she spent a lot of time reminding herself that she was NOT Barney as some ppl seemed to think. Soon, she made it to a blue door at the end of the corridor.

When Fantaghiro opened the blue door……she found herself on the set of Barney and knew she couldn’t fight her fate anymore. She put on her purple Barney head and went to entertain the kids- forgetting she was still naked. A traumatized boy pointed and screamed but the rest seemed unfazed. In truth- they had seen such sights many times before when… Barney purposefully refused to get dressed in time for her shows. The traumatized boy however, after getting over his trauma, walked up to Barney and told her 'Shame, shame, puppy shame, all the monkeys know your name." and soon all the kids were chanting the rhyme over and over again. Barney could feel her temper rising and before... she could control her temper, she first decided that she must always fight a fate that says she is Barney when she is in fact Fantaghiro, and exploded into a million, zillion pieces!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Purple Princess Phantasies.. (Part 1)

Devena in red, Diana in green and Jacelyn in blue...

I suddenly woke up feeling strangely empowered. The noise of fast moving cars and busses didnt seem to bother me as much as it used to. I looked around and and realized I was lying in the middle of the road with a pool of blood around me and a whole bunch of people were just standing around... reading books and selling t-shirts. Annoyed that they were not assisting a person lying in the middle of the road with a pool of blood around them, I swam through the pool until I reached…the end of the stalls where I saw a little cottage that was so pretty I wanted to touch it because we all know that people like to touch things which are pretty. But then my hand went right thru the brick! Either the house wasn’t real or I wasn’t real. I came to the conclusion that… the house wasnt real. I mean how could there be such a pretty little cottage just down the road. It was simply not possible. I knocked on the quaint looking door, and to my surprise my fist went through the door... Remembering that I shouldn’t be surprised that my fist went through the door – heck, I shouldn’t even be knocking on the door if I already knew the cottage wasn’t real dammit – I walked past the cottage into the shop behind it. There, a hologram producing machine was coming up with the cottage look-alike outside. I punched the short ugly man running the machine and changed the cottage into a hologram of Spock. Suddenly a huge rush of females started heading in the direction of the Zachary Quinto hologram but they were beaten by what looked like Barney hurtling down the road. Barney had been eyeing spock for almost 10 years now and she finally caught a "live" glimpse of him. She would not let even the tiniest of creatures near her beloved Spock as she thinks she waited long enough to have him all for herself. After getting pass all the ugly scrawny women in short skirts and stillettos, she headed towards her Spock only to...watch him disappear slowly. He was a stupid hologram too! In shock, Barney, who was in fact the Princess Fantaghiro whom strange and blind commentators often mistook for Barney, walked to the hologram machine, wondering what other ppl it possessed in its archives. With a click, Spock had changed into Little Richard. The sudden massive transformation shocked Fantaghiro who being an ancient Italian myth could not understand the concept of a 20th Century gay man. She ran away from the weird device and found herself… in a dingy back alley. She was still dreaming of Spock when she spotted a handsome men lying helpless by a huge pile of rubbish. She picked up the courage to go up to him, simply because he looked good, in fact as she got closer to him, she could almost swear it was Romualdo. She began running towards him and....shouted loudly, “Romualdo! Romualdo!”. But for some reason, Romualdo began to run away from her, down the alley.
Fantaghiro was surprised, and very suspicious. Why would Romualdo be running away from her? Then, she noticed a cloaked figure at the end of the alley; Romualdo would intercept the figure very soon! What if it was an evil wizard or some badly placed mannequin? Fantaghiro moved forward
only to find the cloaked ‘figure’ was clothes hanging on a washing line. ‘Romouldo’ ran thru the flapping clothes and out of sight. Fantaghiro chased after him screaming like a madwoman- ‘Romouldo! Romouldo!’ until something hard hit her head and she heard a gruff ‘Shut up, b*tch!’ Fantaghiro passed out. When she awoke, she found… herself lying naked between clean white satin sheets, with a man she could hardly recognise. She... gasped and thought to herself “Where the devil have my wonderful clothes and boots got to? And my cloak too? OMG is the man I can’t recognize wearing my clothes????” She slowly peeled away the sheets covering her and the mystery man and realized he wasn’t wearing her clothes but some other woman’s! He was dressed in a lacy negligee. She screamed in horror at the disgusting sight and jumped out of the open window. Only when she fell on a bunch of nettles did she remember she had no clothes on. She…