Guide: Devena in Red, Diana in Green, Jacelyn in Blue.
was too engrossed with the chipmunk. I made my way to reach for the chipmunk's mustache and when I was finally on top of him, right there in the middle of the streets of Bangsar, the big huge x-trail driver who was put-off because I paid attention to the chipmunk and not him, drove his huge car past us and splashed some funky smelling liquid on us. The chipmunk was so annoyed that he turned his head so fast, his bristly mustached scratched against my nose and I screamed so loudly that the chipmunk died out of shock. I stood there and realized the liquid was radioactive and soon my catsuit started glowing in the dark. The glowing catsuit attracted a bunch of crows and the weird smell made them react in an angry manner. I was soon covered by crows who were picking at my skin and clawing at my suit. I was screaming in pain about the crow ambush when I heard the hearty laughter of the Dreadful Round One. The laughter was so dreadful it scared the crows away. She stopped laughing upon realizing she had helped me. I took the opportunity to blindside her with a punch. At that point, a sweet yet annoying voice said ‘Rosetta! Please do not punch the Round One! I do not understand why you are going to punch her. Please explain to me via email why you want to punch her…’ I was overcome by irritation that I…rubbed myself all over the round one so that some radioactive liquid would transfer to her and she would glow and attract crows to eat her up. Then, I saw the annoying one who was speaking in that sweet but annoying voice, jumped on her and rubbed myself all over her too while she emphasized that I was being foolish for not writing her a thousand emails in one day to explain myself. And with that, I had no more radioactive liquid on my catsuit anymore and instead watched the two glowing (blinding) idiots being eaten up by crows. Laughing in joy, I turned to see the X-Trail coming back up the road, and the tall and large man allowed me to hitch a ride to go to Genting Highlands after all! The End!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
The Catsuit Capers of Rosetta Stone (Part 4)
Guide: Devena in Red, Diana in Green, Jacelyn in Blue.
realizing I had mistakenly battered a different and innocent round one who, being round and fat, had been desperate to get to the handsome smashed Colombian drug lord and had walked into the crowd stampeding off the train thereby being squashed on the platform. Suddenly, the innocent round woman who I had mistakenly whacked said in a suitably fattened desperate voice, “Rosetta…” I freaked. She knew my name. I waited for her to turn so I could recognize her face. But she did not. I stood there patiently, one hand on my boob, and the other impatiently suffing the balance of the bun into my mouth, and then she slowly tried to get up. "Aunt Melrose?" I shuddered at the thought of explaining to my mom that I just hit her sister with a tray so hard that she could not even get up. Random thought were running through my mind, should I just run or should I help. The conscious part of me was saying that I should help her up and do the right thing, which is take her home but another part of me just felt like hitting her more, pretend I didn't see this whole thing and run, just run until I find that cat suit, and probably some boots to match on the way out. I was even contemplating on stopping by Bobby Brown's for a make-over to match my outfit when I saw a cockroach and started screaming hysterically. I then remembered how I got into this whole mess in the first place! It was Andrea and the cockroach! I stepped on the roach and my bloodlust was contained for the moment. I quickly turned to Aunt Melrose and said ‘I don’t know what you are talking about or who Rosetta is. I am Pussy-in-Boots and I rid the world of round ones!’ Offended at my speech A. Melrose said, ‘Just because I am round doesn’t mean I am desperate! But that drug lord was cute and I need to get married ok?’ Confused as to why Aunt Melrose wanted to marry a DEAD drug lord, I left her with her delusions and went on a shopping spree for a new outfit. I turned and… saw the supposedly dead Colombian drug lord’s mangled body walk towards my Aunt Melrose, and they embraced. It seemed the drug lord was too lordish to die by being hit by some bourgeoisie LRT train! I wished my Aunt Melrose good luck with him and stuck my tongue out at her just before I turned the corner, because being Pussy-In-Boots gave me courage to be rude to my relatives. Soon, I was back in KLCC, trying to find a cat suit. Finally I spotted a gorgeous black leather one at the display window of MNG. Excitedly, I walked right through its huge glass doors eager to get that exact display suit. I found them neatly hanging on the racks and reached out for one when a strong hairy hand reached out for the same hanger i was about to hold out. Frowning, I looked up to give the owner of the hairy hands a piece of my mind and I froze. The chipmunk looking man stared at me, well at my boob to be precise, his hand still on the hanger, and after a long moment passed us by, he casually asked, "shopping? You're on leave today? I thought I saw you walking in the office a little after nine this morning?" I gave him my brightest smile, flipped my hair so that my body movement would get him to concentrate on my boob again. I thought the conversation would be easier if I distracted him. He was distracted and I asked him if he would follow me to Bangsar so I could hunt more round ones that frequented the area. He asked me why and I said I needed to find a petrol station and didn’t know if there was any. He blinked and said ‘but you don’t have a car…’ I shook my hair again n it made the exposed boob juggle in a hypnotic way that made him say yes to my stupid request anyway. So off we went to the LRT looking for a petrol station in Bangsar. We found too many to count so I pretended I was blind and couldn’t see them and asked…if chipmunk could take me in his car all the way to Genting Highlands and then back to Bangsar to find the petrol stations I had pretended not to see. As I forgot to move my boob hypnotically when I made my request, the chipmunk finally realized I was just being dumb on purpose. He became angry and after giving my hanging out boob a last, long leer, began to walk away. Incensed, I ran after him, but I sadly tripped on a flat part of the pavement and fell into the chipmunk, knocking him into the main road where he was promptly crushed into the ground by a huge X-Trail driven by a very large and tall man. The tall and large man seemed to recognize me and was about to get out of the car to say something to me but I...
Over? Not a chance!...
realizing I had mistakenly battered a different and innocent round one who, being round and fat, had been desperate to get to the handsome smashed Colombian drug lord and had walked into the crowd stampeding off the train thereby being squashed on the platform. Suddenly, the innocent round woman who I had mistakenly whacked said in a suitably fattened desperate voice, “Rosetta…” I freaked. She knew my name. I waited for her to turn so I could recognize her face. But she did not. I stood there patiently, one hand on my boob, and the other impatiently suffing the balance of the bun into my mouth, and then she slowly tried to get up. "Aunt Melrose?" I shuddered at the thought of explaining to my mom that I just hit her sister with a tray so hard that she could not even get up. Random thought were running through my mind, should I just run or should I help. The conscious part of me was saying that I should help her up and do the right thing, which is take her home but another part of me just felt like hitting her more, pretend I didn't see this whole thing and run, just run until I find that cat suit, and probably some boots to match on the way out. I was even contemplating on stopping by Bobby Brown's for a make-over to match my outfit when I saw a cockroach and started screaming hysterically. I then remembered how I got into this whole mess in the first place! It was Andrea and the cockroach! I stepped on the roach and my bloodlust was contained for the moment. I quickly turned to Aunt Melrose and said ‘I don’t know what you are talking about or who Rosetta is. I am Pussy-in-Boots and I rid the world of round ones!’ Offended at my speech A. Melrose said, ‘Just because I am round doesn’t mean I am desperate! But that drug lord was cute and I need to get married ok?’ Confused as to why Aunt Melrose wanted to marry a DEAD drug lord, I left her with her delusions and went on a shopping spree for a new outfit. I turned and… saw the supposedly dead Colombian drug lord’s mangled body walk towards my Aunt Melrose, and they embraced. It seemed the drug lord was too lordish to die by being hit by some bourgeoisie LRT train! I wished my Aunt Melrose good luck with him and stuck my tongue out at her just before I turned the corner, because being Pussy-In-Boots gave me courage to be rude to my relatives. Soon, I was back in KLCC, trying to find a cat suit. Finally I spotted a gorgeous black leather one at the display window of MNG. Excitedly, I walked right through its huge glass doors eager to get that exact display suit. I found them neatly hanging on the racks and reached out for one when a strong hairy hand reached out for the same hanger i was about to hold out. Frowning, I looked up to give the owner of the hairy hands a piece of my mind and I froze. The chipmunk looking man stared at me, well at my boob to be precise, his hand still on the hanger, and after a long moment passed us by, he casually asked, "shopping? You're on leave today? I thought I saw you walking in the office a little after nine this morning?" I gave him my brightest smile, flipped my hair so that my body movement would get him to concentrate on my boob again. I thought the conversation would be easier if I distracted him. He was distracted and I asked him if he would follow me to Bangsar so I could hunt more round ones that frequented the area. He asked me why and I said I needed to find a petrol station and didn’t know if there was any. He blinked and said ‘but you don’t have a car…’ I shook my hair again n it made the exposed boob juggle in a hypnotic way that made him say yes to my stupid request anyway. So off we went to the LRT looking for a petrol station in Bangsar. We found too many to count so I pretended I was blind and couldn’t see them and asked…if chipmunk could take me in his car all the way to Genting Highlands and then back to Bangsar to find the petrol stations I had pretended not to see. As I forgot to move my boob hypnotically when I made my request, the chipmunk finally realized I was just being dumb on purpose. He became angry and after giving my hanging out boob a last, long leer, began to walk away. Incensed, I ran after him, but I sadly tripped on a flat part of the pavement and fell into the chipmunk, knocking him into the main road where he was promptly crushed into the ground by a huge X-Trail driven by a very large and tall man. The tall and large man seemed to recognize me and was about to get out of the car to say something to me but I...
Over? Not a chance!...
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