She...Ends.

She...Part3

The loud sound of the crashing door had sent the pastor and his girlfriend… running across their neatly mowed lawn to the presbyterian church which the pastor heads. She heard them running but it didn’t quite register as the 11 herbs and spices chicken was overpowering her senses. When she got out onto the patio and found it empty, she shrieked in frustration and threw the chicken bone at a nearby duck. The duck was sent rolling across the lawn and tripped the farmer’s girlfriend, causing her to have a concussion… that would have been the end of it as the girlfriend could then be finished off with the blade while the soya bean is drunk, but suddenly the chicken bone thrower realised that it was the farmer's girlfriend who had tripped and not the pastor's girlfriend, and that the pastor and his girlfriend were lamost reaching the steps of the church. So... she carried all that cloth she was wearing and ran with the can of soya bean in her hands, knife on the other and was careful to jump over the chicken bone. As she was running with all her might, complete with al the wind blowing and hair flying effects (although at tortoise speed), and as she was about to reach the church steps, the church bells rang and caught her off-guard. She dropped the cleaver on the steps making a loud clanking sound. This alerted the pastor and his wife who came out to see. When he saw her, with her messy hair and unkempt bags… he fell deeply and madly in love. He rushed to steady her not knowing that his wife was reaching for the cleaver… and that not too far in the church, the pastor's girlfriend was also reaching for a weapon to kill the pastor, his wife and our heroine. All the simultaneously thoughts and actions caught the attention of the farmer who was praying in the church for his wife who had had a concussion. Upon seeing the pastor’s girlfriend and wife having a tussle he changed his mind about his own profession- ‘Damn it- why does he get all the women!’. He then decided he would let them kill the pastor and then he’d have all of them. But his plot was foiled when… the pastor's girlfriend accidentally slashed a vein on his neck as she turned to run towards the pastor's wife who was hiding behind the huge church doors, and the farmer cried in pain as he fell on the beautifully lit oil lamps by the altar, thus burning to death. His shrieking caught her attention and sent a shrill of pleasure through her spine. She dropped the cleaver and ran towards the farmer lying in a pool of blood, clothes seeped in oil and was slowly burning... she then decided it would be appropriate to do a rain dance around the burning farmer to help him stop burning, for too many thrills were going through her as he burned so that she could not think straight and thought she had become a Red Indian (Native American, to be politically correct), and then… she caught the pastor's eyes. He hurried to watch her dance around the farmer’s flaming carcass, forgetting all about our heroine (whose name is Petals, for ease of reference), panting on the church steps. Petals was panting so much that she almost didn’t realise that the pastor’s girlfriend (whose name is Leafy, for ease of reference), had dropped the cleaver; but then she saw the shining cleaver calling to her from inside the church and ran to it, only to realize the Pastor’s wife could run faster than she could… she panicked. She had to win. The pastors wife and the girlfriend has to go. And then it struck her. She stood there, right in the middle of the aisle and started reiterating boring family stories - "my aunt had her hernia removed just last Christmas! Oh what a fat lump it was!!...’ At the vile mention of hernia’s and Chrismas, both the girlfriend and wife stopped short and cringed, then started shaking uncontrollably with discomfort. Petals was overjoyed. She continued… ‘And then her husband, Mickey…decided to open a shop selling T-shirts, but my aunt’s hernia operation cost so much money that they couldn’t open the shop and then my aunt started nagging my uncle to get off his fat ass and find a more lucrative job than writing sub-titles for movies…’ At the mention of sub-titles for movies, the pastor and his wife suddenly remembered the horribly wrong BM sub-titles to an English movie they had just watched and they had a heart-attack and died on the spot. Petals and Leafy looked at each other bewildered. What were they to do now? Three corpses lay strewn in the church . Petals was afraid yet she felt something strange, soemthing she never felt before, it was the weirdest urge, an urge to just pull leafy close and give her a lip-smacking kiss, but before she divulge into her urges, she took out a safety blade from her pocket and made a tiny slit on both the corpses - a heart shaped scar on the pastor's cheek, and a zig zagged scar on the pastor's wife's hand.. A gleeful smile spread across her face at the thought of the slitting. The farmer was burnt by now and there was no need of any slitting. Then.. just before Petals and Leafy could get it on, the forgotten farmer’s girlfriend, who had now recovered from her concussion, arrived at the church, and seeing the farmer burnt to death (his face was not completely burnt, so she could make him out), became enraged, and knocked out the cornerstone of the church with her bare hands, thus bringing the church down on top of everyone in it. And soon a rescue team arrived at the church site to salvage the situation. They managed to pull Petals out safely as she had used her unkempt bags and the farmer’s corpse to shield her from the falling rocks. When she got out she immediately received a text from Bobby telling her, he would be back for Hanukkah. She was in a daze and could not remember all tht transpired before thus telling the police and rescue team that the paralysed duck had made the building collapse. They took her to the mental ward where she met… Devena Kasinathan, a beautiful young lady who looks just like her, bags, unkept hair and all. They began to.. talk to each other and discovered that they hey mutual friends, Jacelyn Johnson the evil dwarf and Diana Chai the temptress…they missed their mutual friends a lot, and so they decided to break out of the mental ward. They were running so fast to avoid being caught, just to get to the nearest telephone-booth so that they could get the evil dwarf's opinion on another murderous technique in case the mental hospital wardens came after them, but as they approached the corner of the shop lots, they spotted the temptress' car speeding along the road. They decided to wait at the junction to catch Diana Chai's attention, but Alas, Diana was speeding to fast and didnt notice the two bags by the road and hit them flat as she swirled around the corner...

Fin. :)