She... Continues.

After a slight commercial break from an apparently hungry Devena, we're back to the second installment of our quirky madlib story!.. Read On!

She...Part2

Though Jacelyn assured her she wouldn’t have to eat the cow, she was appalled nonetheless and decided perhaps she would slaughter a cabbage instead and… she almost began to kill the cabbage (which if she had only known it then, but she was too stupid to realise, was already dead on the kitchen table) but she then realized how much more boring slaughtering a cabbage would be than her current mundane work life etc and so instead she let the evil dwarf’s lair and went to Tesco’s to buy a good knife to experiment on ppl with. But then… Tesco's was closed for no apparent reason on that particular day and she had once made a personal vow to never visit carrefour which is the only other convenience store that she could get to without much hassle, so she called the evil dwarf again to ask for other killing options...

The evil dwarf suggested a deadly mix of boring family stories and arsenic. Would kill anyone stone dead, she said- after which you could cut them up with a safety blade. Our heroine was in awe of the evil dwarf and quickly headed to the nearest drug store for arsenic. One the way there… she met a pastor, who offered her a can of soya bean which she greedily snapped up! She was in such a hurried state to drink it up that she overlooked the poor pastor standing there, waiting in anticipation of any form of appreciation, but of course none came. The loud opening of the can awoke the pastor from his daze and as he was in a hurry, he smiled sympathetically at her and walked away. She slurped her last drop of soya bean only to find... that she is no longer hungry. Since the soya bean has returned her wits to her which had been disappearing lately, she suddenly realizes how cute the pastor is who had smiled sympathetically at her. She quickly turns to find where the cute, tall, dark and handsome pastor had gone but instead saw a tub of lard grin at her with horrible teeth. She nearly barfed her soya (and tht would be a terrible waste of good soya) and hurried away in the direction the pastor had disappeared in. The road led her to a cottage in the middle of Wales. The pastor was seated on the patio with… another woman! "Who the hell is that bitch?" she wondered. At the back of her mind she was already planing up boring familiy stories that would kill... now all she needs is that blade and Dolly Parton implants to shield her identity. But her mind was made up- she would…. do whatever it takes to get another can of soya been. Oh and also a knife. So she goes where both would obviously be: the pastor's kitchen! Inside, she unexpectedly finds that she had completely destroyed the door (as the pastor had never let her in anyway, so not altogether unexpected). She quickly grabs the nearest cleaver, soya can and a chicken leg (murdering takes strength…) before heading off to find her victim.

To be continued...

P.S. you'll notice in the first installment that we mentioned our heroine to be vegetarian... and now she grabs a chicken leg... LOL! ;)